The Generations

February 2023

The stories my grandmother has told me about her days in Greece, her first days in America, the difficulties of family members, the stories of the Greek men, the Greek women, the food that she used to make, and prepare, the Greek dances, and so many other tales has given me some clarity, light and sympathy towards them all. I’ve understood the specific details, and how to work hard. It’s something that my grandmother‘s generation has. They have a commitment and dedication to preserving a certain lifestyle that they admired. They perceived America in the dream and the comfort in a certain way. And they did their best to achieve that. Every single one of them achieved a stable life, some income of some sorts, and beautiful generation to continue their legacy. Now the next generation, my parents generation, and the people around their age, a group, the slightly different view on how to do things, and an ethical code. More divorces, less children, less Christianity in their lives. Then we have my generation and the kids surrounding my age. I will always call us as kids still. I always think we are all much younger than we really are. Even though my oldest  cousin living in California is just above 30, even though he has little kids at home, I still call him and I and all of us - kids. We all have a certain dedication to our social values and decency and common sense. And let me tell you, it certainly does not match, but my grandmother’s generation thought of and had. The elders created an illusion in their mind about how their family and legacy will be carried. I believe that most of the second and third generation people and kids have failed them. Maybe divorce was the right option? Maybe staying together wasn’t? Maybe having less kids was the wrong option and more kids was the right option? Do I know? Not at all. But I can tell you my point of view and perception on it all. Yes, there was anger and rage and frustration towards the women and children. Yes, there was money problems, yes, there was a lack of care, but there was a strong motivation for the church, also for the community of the church. My generation never had that. My mothers generation had a more relaxed version of their parents. And I feel like my generation and the new generation to come after me is just going about the times trying to figure out where they belong. There’s no gravitational pull towards their ancestors because they were not grown up like their parents were. With a closeness and a relationship towards the ones that they loved. Everybody is everywhere. My cousin once told me that he would like to keep the next generation close, and he wants them to grow up how we grew up. I reminded him and told him that we are all living in different towns. It’s much more difficult than just being a seven minute drive away from each other’s houses. Life is different. Times have changed? Have they? I’m not really sure because we all have the ability but yet we’re all lacking in at all. There’s no motivation or contribution towards wanting to stay together. I listen to my grandmother stories about the church and her best friends. They are all dead now. There is not many that are left. You can look in those old pictures and videos that I have from long ago, and majority of them are gone. At the top of my head, I can only think of five that are left. Their kids are all spread apart in different areas. And their kids are all over the country in the world. It’s very sad that the whole other generation is now spread out. You go to church and you don’t even recognize anybody anymore. That old Greek community is gone, their children are gone. And their grandchildren are gone. No one knows who anybody is. Even with social media I don’t even know who they are. But when there is a death, we all get together. When there’s a wedding, we all get together. We all see each other occasionally and laugh and smile, and have fun or be sitting around the table sad talking about old stories. When my grandmother‘s nephew passed away, we went over to my great aunts house to keep her company. Her other son was over, his wife was over, my mother, my grandmother and I were all there sitting around the table, talking and laughing while eating lasagna or chicken or chocolate cake or whatever the dessert was or her food was that someone brought over that day for comfort so she did not have to cook or the family did not have to cook. Listening to my grandmother’s stories about her getting her wedding dress and having to go to LA, stories with her and her sister-in-law and the heartaches that they had to deal with, with the liquor store, the A&W drive-in restaurant, the different priests that they liked, and didn’t like. All created a sense of closeness that I could only imagine and perceive, and feel it all. It made me even more sad. Because I wish I had grown up in that time and era. The love and support that they all had for each other is something that I never got to experience when I was young. Maybe I get to grow up and create my own. Maybe that’s the benefit. The benefit is that I get to go out and pick my own community and church. Instead of it being placed upon me. Creating new friends and people and having fun and experiencing them all. I have no idea. I’m still young that I cannot go out and find my own community or path just yet. I have some abilities, but not entirely.